#16: Samoas



Hey Team!

I’m really suffering from a bad case of the mid-winter mopes.  The last two weeks have been particularly rough.  I’ve been sick now twice in January.  I went to see Jimmy last weekend in the Cleve, but he had a cold sore – so no kisses – and then he had to work this weekend – so no Jimmy…  I’m struggling to make valuable contributions at work.  I can’t get motivated to go to the gym.  If anyone has any ideas on how to get out of my mopes, please let me know.

In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to keep my brains active.  Crossword puzzles, dumb crafts, and these Samoas….  My coworker put up her daughter’s Girl Scout Cookie sell sheet and I was like “I ain’t waiting 6 weeks for my Samoas!” So I found a recipe on the Pinterest and I did it up.  Here’s my slightly modified recipe, trick!

Make some basic-b cookies first.  Mix up the dough:

1 stick butter

1/3 cup sugar

1-1/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp milk

When you mix it, it’ll be Crumble City, but keep mixing it and it’ll turn into a dough – I promise.  If you need a splash more milk, go for it. But seriously – keep mixing…. Then, wrap your dough in some plastic wrap and chill for an hour.  Roll the chilled dough out and cut with a doughnut cutter.  LISTEN – don’t freak out if you don’t have a doughnut cutter. Use whatever you want – this is for a traditional Samoa shape – but so whatever the F you want, trick!  Don’t let me oppress you with my liberal Samoa agenda!

Now then, cook those cookies for 10-12 minutes at 350 and set those shits aside.

Next step – brown up some coconut flakes (1-1/2 cups) in a pan over medium heat for like 5 minutes.  Set your browned flakes aside.

Now – get about 2 cups of those dumb caramels from the Kroger or wherever (like 1 bag and a half) and unwrap them (this takes forever) and microwave these with 3 tbsp of heavy cream, 1 tsp salt and a splash of vanilla (like a heavy splash, ok?).  Microwave for like 2 minutes and stir until melted.  Keep microwaving and stirring until smooth caramel is happening.  It usually takes like 3 minutes, but maybe your microwave is faster than mine.  I have some good stories about microwaves, which I’ll share some other time….  Just keep an eye on your caramel!

When you have smooth, creamy caramel, spread it on your cookies – like a base layer.  You should have plenty left over after your base coats.  Throw your browned coconut flakes in the remaining caramel and stir.  Here’s where it gets messy – you need to spread this caramel/coconut jazz on your cookies.  Holy shit – it’s a nightmare.  I used my hands because there’s really no better way to do it.  NOTE – I’m using parchment paper for this – you should too, especially when we get to the next bit.

I’m exhausted – but it’s not over.  Melt about 1-1/2 cups of chocolate chips just like the caramel.  Microwave and stir, microwave and stir….  Once you have melted chocolate, dip your cookies in there, and pop them back on the parchment paper.  Oh this is some sloppy work….  Once all of your cookie bottoms are smeared with the choco sauce, drizzle the remaining choco sauce on the tops.  Make sure you chill this mess for the caramel and the choco settles.  Woof – so many things happening here, but really worth it.  These cookies are so so good…..

Anyway – I can’t tell if anyone is reading these!  Here’s a fun reward if you’re still following along – it’s a picture of John Stamos and his butt.  He’s 52!!!!


3 thoughts on “#16: Samoas”

  1. I read this and you ARE making valuable contributions at work you silly goose. Including but DEFINITELY NOT LIMITED TO bringing these cookies in. They were amaze. – TH


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