Hi hi hi hi hi!
I’ve been spending a lot of time this week daydreaming about maybe collecting all of these dumb cookies and stories and recipes into a cookbook. I haven’t felt this excited about a thing in a long time and I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, but it’s a fun thing to think about! Will there be chapters written by celebrities? I’ll do my best to find some! Will there be embarrassing stories from my high school days? You’d better believe it! Will the ghost of Julia Child pop up from wherever she’s buried and say “Oooooo-eeeee! That’s the best cookbook my dang ghost eyes have ever seen!”? Probably!
If a book happens, the one thing I know for sure – these PB&J cookies have to be in there – they’re so fucking good. And it’ll be a scratch & sniff page so you really get a nose-full of peanut butter smells. Get those smells all UP AND DOWN IN YOUR FACE, TRICK!
Anyway! For the cookies, here’s your recipe:
1 sticka butter
1/4 cuppa regular gran sugar + 2 tbsp more on top of that
1/2 cuppa brown sugar + 2 tbsp more of that too!
3/4 cuppa peanut butter (choosy moms choose Jif, son!)
Big splash of vanilla
1 cuppa flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 tsp baking soda (NOT POWDER!!!!)
Mix this junk and chill for like 15 minutes. Then drop balls onto your dang cookie sheets. Make sure you wink at every single ball – and then smash it down with your hand or a spatula so it’s like disk-shaped. If you want to make the cross-hatch thing with your fork for the real PB cookie look, have at it, dumdum. I like putting faces on mine, so no fork business for me. Cook that shit for like 18 minutes – spinning your pans around in the over at the 9 minute mark.
NOTE – if you want to add faces, add Reece’s Pieces noses right out of the oven. OK???? I find that you should always have a few bags of RPs hanging around the house for just whatevers!
Make the eye and mouth bits with a toothpick.
OK! Then for the PB frosting, just mix up a half-sticka butter, 1/2 cuppa peanut butter, 2 medium splashes of milk and 1 cuppa powdered sugar. Pinch of salt too, per Rita Volpi. Spread your PB frosting and some jelly between two dang cookies and that’s it!
Hey! I hope you enjoy these cookies so so much!
(cover art by Dylan Todd)