#33: Jortbread Shortbread

Hey!  Who’s excited for summer!?

Not me!  Listen – summer to me is like non-stop sweating.  And, as a complete homebody, I always feel like a double-drip loser for not going to more barbecues and patios and pool parties and things.  I like to just putter around my dumb house and maybe go to the Dairy Queen or the Ohio State Fair.  That’s it.

BUT!  When I do leave the house – I am 90% guaranteed to be wearing jorts.  So – here’s a fun cookie to celebrate the highlight of summer fashions.

NOTE – the idea for jortbread-shortbread came from my friend Danielle Gray, who is @humpledonk on the Instagrams and she is this tall drink of weirdo.  She lives in San Francisco on a houseboat now – WHAAAAT?  (It’s true!  HOUSEBOAT!)   Anyway – I sure do enjoy her and think you would too.  That Instagram again is @humpledonk!


2 sticka butter

1/2 cuppa sugar

2 cuppa flour

1/4 tsp baking powder (NOT SODA)

1/2 tsp salt

splash of vanilla

2 splashes of milk

Mix all this junk up.  Add some blue food coloring.  I like my jorts acid-washy so I went easy on the blue….  Wrap in plastic wrap or wax paper and chill for like an hour.  Once your jazz is chilled, roll it out to like a decent thickness.  NOT TOO THIN!  Cut into jort-shapes.  I personally like a longer jort, but if you’re into daisy-dukes – have at it.  Use a toothpick to make like pockets and a zipper fly – or faces if that’s more your speed.  (I like faces.)  Cook for about 12 min at 350.

DOUBLE NOTE – there aren’t any eggs in this recipe, so you can eat the dough, which is pretty great.

ONE MORE NOTE – Seriously cannot wait for Fall…


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