#48: Apricot Failures! 

Hey Team!

This is my first dang blog as a Saveur Magazine Blog Award Finalist!  Out of 30,000 entries, my dumb blog is one of six FINALISTS for best baking/sweets blog!


So before I go on – THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS AND NOMINATING ME AND VOTING FOR ME AND THE KIND WORDS AND THE SHARES AND EVERYTHING! I’m just so overwhelmed by it all! Thank you!

So – did y’all see the competition???  Real talk – I’m seriously outclassed. One of these bloggers is a James Beard nominee!  Here’s the closest thing I’ll ever get to a James Beard.


(It’s Jimmy’s beard. Get it???)

Anyway. I was reminded by this dude Andy who works at Studio 35 (hi Andy!) that someone at Saveur was in a room with all of the other editors and they fought for MY blog. I’m starting to cry a little thinking about. (Not really, but almost!). So, I’ve decided not to be intimidated by the other nominees (who are all gorgeous and wonderful and I secretly hate them), but to just keep doing my own dang thing and THAT’S THAT!

So here’s the dang recipe for my Apricot Failures (or Welcome Back, Aprikotters):

NOTE – this is a Martha Stewart situation re-interpreted by my very smart brains.

2-1/4 sticka butter (room temp)

1-1/2 cuppa sugar

3 eggs (room temp)

1-1/3 cuppa cornmeal

3-1/2 cuppa flour

3/4 tsp salt

A serious amount of apricot jam (like two medium jars)

Per Aunt Martha (no relation), mix all but your jam in a mixer and then set aside like 1-1/2 cuppa dough. Take the rest and spread it in a Pam-sprayed tray (11″ x 17″ lipped cookie sheet, y’all!).

To help with the spreading, I went into my spatula drawer to find a spatula but nicked myself on the business end of a big meat-knife. I didn’t even realize I was bleeding until I saw some blood in the dough I was smashing into this tray. So, obviously, all of these cookies went into the garbage after the photo shoot. (Hence “failures”).

Ok bake your blood-streaked dough tray for 20 min on 375. When they’re done cooking, cool them down a tick and then spread your jam all over this shit. Do you love apricot jam??! I sure do – I even like it on PORK CHOPS! (Try it!!!).

Listen. We’re not done! Remember that dough you set aside from a few paragraphs ago?  Aunt Martha says you should pipe like window panes for what she calls “Apricot Windows”. I made really dumb faces with my dough and just plopped those shits on top of the jam layer. Bake this whole thing now for another 20. Wipe off your bloody meat-knife and cut these shits and serve!

Yep! Someone at Saveur thought this was a good idea!

COOKIE SCORES:

Taste – Don’t know – blood in the cookies

Appearance? – Quite shit. 0.

One thought on “#48: Apricot Failures! ”

  1. Your so cute and im sure they taste DELISH!!!!!! Even with a little blood🔪Just make up for this little bump in the road by making my favs and renaming them!!!!!!

    Like

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