SCIENCE FACT: everyone has super tiny mites living in their eyebrows. Click here for the straight poop on eyebrow mites! They just hang around hair follicles eating our dumb skin cells. It’s all super normal and just don’t even worry about it, ok???
(I know this is my second blog about eyebrows. I’m sorry! I just really like eyebrows!)
Here’s an exciting love story about some eyebrow mites that lived on some of the mightiest eyebrows that there ever were.
Frida Kahlo was a super important Mexican artist with some really incredible eyebrows. She was like “Yo soy going to paint some self portraits and show off these eyebrows! If you don’t like it, you can sit on the business end of a knife!” (not a direct quote).
When she was a kid, Frida’s eyebrows were – you know – more separate… And living in Left Eyebrow was a fiery eyebrow mite named Greta. Like Frida, Greta was an artist and she didn’t give a dang what people thought about her kooky artwork. When Frida and Greta were both in their high school days, Frida’s eyebrows joined up, and the eyebrow mites from Left Eyebrow FINALLY had a bridge to Right Eyebrow.
Right Eyebrow was experiencing some very turbulent political upheavals, y’all! The mites there wanted big changes from the Right Eyebrow government. And one of the most outspoken eyebrow mites living in Right Eyebrow was a very handsome young devil named Fernando. Wow wow wow – he was passionate! About life and Right Eyebrow and love and art and everything! Greta was on a field trip in Right Eyebrow and got swept up in a political rally/pizza party – and that’s where she met and fell in love with Fernando. It was a steamy and super passionate love affair, y’all! (What an intense field trip!)
Greta wanted to stay in Right Eyebrow and fight with Fernando and create even more exciting artwork. But then her parents called and told her that she needed to take the next bus to Left Eyebrow because she needed to finish high school. Greta begrudging got on that bus after a heavy make-out session with Fernando. BUT – bad news, team – the bus crashed on the way back to Left Eyebrow and Greta was paralyzed!
Long story short, Greta and Fernando got married. Greta went on to paint some crazytown paintings and then became a communist, I guess…. Fernando too… Communist. They were so in love – but they sure did fight a lot. LIKE SO MUCH FIGHTING! Anyway – they got divorced and Fernando ended up moving to Frida Kahlo’s nose-caves to paint murals. One of Greta’s many legs got gangrene – she got it amputated, and then she died! Woof!
OK – these are just super-fudge-o brownies with a peanut butter frosting, player. For the brownies:
2 cuppa melted butter
1 cuppa gran sugar
3/4 cuppa cocoa powder (I like dark choco, but you can go regular choco if that’s your speed)
2 big splashes of vanilla
1 cuppa flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp kosher salt
Mix this shit together and spread in a greased up 13×9 pan. Bake this fucker for 33 minutes at 350.
For the frosting:
1/2 cuppa peanut butter
1 cuppa powdered sugar
1/2 sticka butter (melty)
splashes of water or milk until that shit looks like frosting
Mix this junk up and then plop onto your cooled off and biscuit-cut brownies. Use toothpicks for the eyebrow mite legs. Draw faces on them with black frosting or whatever you have laying around.
Appearance: 9.9 pretty dang cute, y’all!