#62: Volpi Victory Medals

Wow wow wow! How about last week??? What a complete shit-show! I have had so many dumb gross feelings this week and it’s been real hard to focus on other non-election stuff. But I had this party happening today so I had to just set aside my anger and nervousness for future times and get my party situated. 

I turn 40 on November 23 and to celebrate  it and this gorge-balls fall weather, I hosted an Almost 40 Almost 4K today. 


Listen. I have run a LOT of 5Ks and 10Ks and an occasional half marathon and honestly the only reason I do any of it is for the medals. I FUCKING LOVE MEDALS!!!!!!  Because I have a forever-jelly-belly, I will never win any of these things, so I only enter races where the medals go to every finisher. 

But let’s face it – some of these medals are SO STUPID. When my very smart brains came up with this idear, I was like – I need a bitchin medal AND IT SHOULD BE A COOKIE.  And THEN! My sister, who is a gem of a human, had this cookie stamper made of my dumb face and a Volpi Victory and it was perfect and it is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten in my whole dang life.  

So team – these are just no muss/no fuss gingerbread cookies. 

2 sticka soft butter

2/3 cuppa brown sugar

2 eggs

FIVE DANG CUPS OF FLOUR!

2/3 cuppa molasses 

4 tsp ginger

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking powder

Mix all this shit together and then chill for like an hour. Roll it out on a floured up counter and cut. This recipe makes an obscene amount of cookies so be patient. Bake these shits at 350 for 13 minutes. NOTE!!!! Make sure you poke a hole in your cookie dough before the oven. The hole is for your medal ribbon and you need to do this BEFORE THE BAKING or else you’re completely hosed, son. DOUBLE NOTE – the ribbon goes in the ribbon hole AFTER THE BAKE!  Don’t bake the ribbons!!!!  AFTER!!!!! Ugh!!!! 

Ok! That’s it. I’m so excited to be 40 in 10 days! I already have a patch of gray chest hair and it’s REAL UNSETTLING! 

Byeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

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