#86! Coconut Dream Bars!

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!!!

Hey!  I thought it might be nice to give y’all biscuitheads a little taste of COLUMBUS OHIO!  Here’s a smattering of some the best things to do/see here!

  • Well – I grew up on GYPSY LANE!  My mom still lives there – and a house down the street was swallowed up by a SINKHOLE!  (I’m pretty sure this is accurate.)
  • I currently live in Clintonville in the WALHALLA RAVINE!  There’s a fox that lives in the ravine – his name is Howard Foxman!

  • Rita and the Skipper own TWO MOVIE THEATERS here!  Studio 35 on Indianola and the Grandview Theater – on Grandview Ave! Beer! And Reece’s Pieces, y’all! Amazing!!!!
  • There’s a bagpipers club that hangs out at the church around the corner from my house! Who doesn’t love bagpipe music for what feels like an eternity every Tuesday night! 

  • My friend Meg has a pool! Sometimes she has pool parties! This is her in the pool before she filled it with water. Just imagine this completely full of water and with two dogs running around like maniacs! 

 

  • Slate Run park has a working historic farm with real (smelly) pigs you can go hang out with. Emily and I went once and P-U! It sure was stinky! 

If you’re an out-of-towner and you want to come to Cbus, pleasepleaseplease let me know! I’d love to have you! You can stay with me in my guest room, which has no bed but a giant pile of socks on the floor! It’s carpeted! 

 

HERE’S YOUR RECIPE!

DAAAAAAANG! These lil cuties are so E-Z to make!!!! Easy like SUNDAY MORNING!!!! Ten of the easiest dang steps of your whole fucking life!!!!

1. Find yourself the finest stick of butter you ever did see and melt it! Pour your melted butter in a 13×9″ pan.

2. Find some graham frackers and crush them up. (My phone auto-corrected crackers as frackers!!!! I sometimes write these blogs on MY PHONE!!!!  ADORABLE!!!). Ok. Get a full cup of your fracker frumbs and sprinkle them all on top of your melted butter

3. Find a bunch of chips. Chocolate and butterscotch and potato. Sprinkle all of them on top of the frackerfrumb layer.  (JK about the potato chips.  Although that sounds delicious….  You know what – add the potato chips if you want!  WHO CARES!?)

4. Find some coconut shavings! Sprinkle about a half cup on the chips.

5. Do you have tiny marshmallows and sprinkles in the cupboard? Sprinkle away!

6. Find a can of sweetened condensed milk! Guess what – you just pour it on the whole mess!!!!  MORE SPRINKLES!

7. BAKE BAKE BAKE BAKE BAKE!!!! THIRTY MINUTES OF BAKING!!!!!!!!!! THREE-FIFTY DEGREES!!!!!!!

8.  You may need to pop these in the fridge to set up a lil bit.  Don’t feel like a FAILURE if that’s a thing you need to do.  Feel free to feel like a FAILURE for other parts of your life.  Not this!  Toot toot toot!  (That’s a self-esteem trumpet!)

9.  God – who is still reading this shit?

10.  Can you believe what a fucking asshole Donald Trump is???

 

2 thoughts on “#86! Coconut Dream Bars!”

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