Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!
I made these cookies to give to the flight attendants because I heard you get all the upgrades. So this is a little experiment to find out if it’s the truth, y’all!
Ok. Here’s what’s up. I gave my bag of cookies to the flight attendant right as I got on the plane. She said “oh! Thank you!” So far, so good!
I walk to my seat and I see that NATE FEENEY is on my flight!!!!
And then we take off and I get this amazing view of COLUMBUS!!!!
Here’s where it gets so good! The lady sitting in the aisle seat moves across the aisle to sit with her man and I get the whole row to myself! And then the flight attendant comes over with a full breakfast tray for first class INCLUDING A WARM BISCUIT and I get the WHOLE CAN OF DIET COKE!!!!
Here’s your dang recipe, which I swiped from THE HUNGRY HUTCH!!! THANKS, HUTCHY!!!!
NOTE – I made a half batch and some MINOR adjustments!
1 stick, unsalted butter
1/2 lb brown sugar
1/4 lb gran sugar
1-1/2 eggs (just do your best with this)
Medium splash of vanilla
7 ounces flour
1/8 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
Half handful walnut pieces
2 handfuls choco chips/chunks
Sprinkly-dinkly of sea salt
1. Ok! Hi! Just take your butter stick and melt it in a pan. Leave it on the medium heat until it browns. That’s how you get brown butter, dig? Put your nose in the pot and take a long whiff. It should smell nutty! Cool, right???? BROWN BUTTER!
2. Weigh out your sugars. Hopefully you have a kitchen scale. If not, undress yourself completely and get on the bathroom scale while you hold an empty bowl. Next, add the sugars and then subtract the weight of your naked body and the empty bowl. (NOTE – I have a kitchen scale.)
3. Mix your melty brown butter with your sugars.
4. Add in your eggs and vanilla. Hutchy says hazelnut liqueur instead of vanilla. HUTCHY – I didn’t have your fancy pants liqueur!!!! Also, I added the half egg here because I thought my mix was too crumbly, yo! I guess instead of a half egg, you could add maybe 2 tbsp of water. Just wet your crumble dough enough to make it a non-crumble dough. HUTCHY – don’t you agree????
5. Add in the flour, baking powder and the 1/8 tsp of salt. MIX MIX MIX MIX, but only 4 mixes. Don’t overmix! If you overmix, you’re just going to stretch out your dang glistens, dummy! That means your cookies will taste like FUCKING GARBAGE!
6. Ok! Hello! It’s time for nuts & chunks. Throw all that in and scoop some balls out onto a baking sheet. Sprinkle maybe 14-17 sea salts on each dough lump.
7. Bake these shits for 11 min at 350!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Ok, I’m gonna take a quick mid-flight side-trip to sleepytime village, y’all! BYE!!!!