#93! Lemon Poppyseed Macarons!!!!

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!

I’m getting so so close to the end of this project, y’all!!!!  Woo!!!  And so I’m emptying out the cupboards! I was like “yo bro! I have all this almond flour and all these poppyseeds!”  And that’s how I came up with this dang cookie!!!  

Before we get to the recipe, I just want to share some of the stuff that’s really tickling my nibbles these days:

1. Nibbles is the new way to say nipples. This lady I met last week kept saying nibbles and it was real funny!  NIBBLES!  Don’t ask me for any more details about that story, BECAUSE I CAN’T TELL YOU!  IT’S A SECRET!!!! 

2. Remember last year when I was OBSESSED with this Turkey Lurkey Time video featuring the grandma from Gilmore Gurls?  TURKEY LURKEY! Well, this summer, I’m obsessed with THIS VIDEO! HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!

3. Ugh! I saw a bartender with a rat tail last week and I keep THINKING ABOUT IT!  Note: you have to be real handsome to pull it off.  

4. Speaking of handsome fellas, we saw the new Baby Driver movie last week and Jon Hamm was in it!!!!  Here’s the skinny – the movie was real dumb, but the music is so good and Jon Hamm is very attractive!

I mean can you even imagine Jon Hamm with a dang rat tail??!! I CAN!!!!  


Ok. Here’s your dang recipe!

First!!!!!  Sift together 8 ounces of powdered sugar and 4 ounces of almond flour!!!!  Set that shit aside.

SECOND!!!  Measure out 5 ounces of egg whites and 2.5 ounces of gran sugar.  Mix that junk on medium for 3 min and then high for another 3 min. Are your peaks stiff, bro????  Gotta get them stiff ones, player!!!  Ok – lower the mixer to low speed and dump in 1 tsp lemon extract and 1/2 tsp salt and yellow food coloring.  (NOTE – I suppose you could try lemon juice instead of the extract, but I wasn’t sure if the acid from the juice would hose the egg whites.  AND – I had lemon extract in the cupboards, so I used it!). Mix all this on low for another three.  Then fold in the p sugar and a flour ever so gently. If you’re a rough lumberjack with these egg whites, you’re gonna get shit macarons, y’old biscuithead. 

THREE!!!  Blop your mix in a piping bag and pipe out circles on your parchy-paper lined sheets. Slam your sheets on a table a few times to knock out the lumpiness of your piped blobs. Sprinkle a half pinch of your poppyseeds on each guy and leave your sheets to dry out for a FULL HOUR!  

FOUR!!!! Bake these fuckers for 22 min at 300.  I think you need to let them dry out in the hot (but not on) oven for a few minutes so they pop off the paper. 

FIVE!!!  Find a solid Italian buttercream recipe and follow that. I tried one and my frosting ended up curdled and not so great. BLOG INSIDER TIP! I used the curdled frosting and then covered up the frosting in more poppyseeds!  I apologize if you get curdled frosting, friends.  I take full responsibility if you have to throw all your junk right in the bin! 

That’s all I got, y’all! Have a great great great great great week! 

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