2017 was one rough year, am I right, y’all? Probably not the worst year if you were a gross-faced REPUBLICAN who voted for DONALD TRUMP. (Sorry – I know at least one lovely faced person who voted for Donald Trump and I still love that person very much.) I’m just glad that the year where we experienced the following shit is coming to an end:
- Little Rocket Man
- Grand Staircase Escalante & Bears Ears
- travel bans
- trying to repeal the ACA
- pushing out a shitty tax bill
- backing out of the Paris Agreement
- diminishing the status and protection of transgendered people
- the entire Puerto Rico situation
- Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Sean Spicer, the Mooch, Kellyanne Conway, Steve Mnuchin, Betsy DeVos, Omarosa, Steve Bannon, Mike Pence, Jared Kushner, Don Jr., ROY FUCKING MOORE
I’m super excited to see what happens in 2018. If the Doug Jones thing was an indication, we’re going to see a big shift back to normalcy and that will be delightful. This all assumes we don’t end up in a nuclear war before the mid-term elections – which I can’t say is just always in the back of my mind….
It’s weird that so much of my year was consumed with thinking about this shit. I got fucking engaged this year! ENGAGED! That should be the headline here, team!
ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED! TO A MAN! To this man…..
- I got ENGAGED, Y’ALL.
- Rita and I stayed in a WIGWAM MOTEL during our trip to Arizona back in April and it was really weird and fun and I loved it.
- Sorry, Sasha Velour and Shea Coulee – but the best drag queen that came out of Rupaul Season 9 was NINA BONINA BROWN! Sue me!
- Speaking of drag queens, my vote for the best Buenos Aires drag queen is STEVITA PERON. We saw drag queens in BA in June and it was “just ok”
- And speaking of Buenos Aires, I made traditional Argentinian ALFAJORES in our Air BNB and I’m still so very proud of myself for that!
- Really, the only new music I got behind this year was the Dua Lipa and her song NEW RULES! I just love that Dua Lipa, everyone!
- My friend KATHLEEN turned 40 this year and I went out to see her in November and I just think she’s so fun and I love her so so so much!
- Also this November – I turned 41 and for my birthday – my friends and I went AXE THROWING and it was really really fun!
- I bought a lot of shirts with STRIPES this year. Probably too many striped shirts….
- Back to travels: Jimmy and I went to PROVINCETOWN in September! We went bike riding and took a sunset cruise and just walked all over and I wore so many striped shirts there!
- We also went to south Florida back in January! Before Jimmy blew a fart on me in Key West (still so angry about that), we went to Miami where I visited my favorite Miami place in the rain – VIZCAYA!
- Jimmy and I said goodbye to his dog Sugar this year, but then welcomed a new beagle later this summer, our new baby boy WRECKO!
- If you’re ever in Cleveland and looking for the world’s best pancakes, drag your buttocks over to THE RUSTIC on Center Ridge Rd in Rocky River. It’s not open on Sunday and they stop serving pancakes at 11am so just manage your time appropriately.
- As mentioned above, the MOOCH happened this year. Truth be told, I thought he was kind of funny. I sort of miss you, Mooch!!!
- I made some vanilla extract this year from scratch and called it VOLPI VANILLA! Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow!
- Ugh – you know what? The best show on TV ended this year. It was LEFTOVERS show on HBO. It was such an amazing show and I loved it and it made me cry.
OK! That was 17 great things about 2017. Get it? 17???
So – to close out this year, we’re headed to Montreal. LISTEN – I just looked at the weather report and I’m starting to think that we’ve made a terrible decision. But – I’m still so excited!!! I’ve never been to Montreal and I hear that they have some great churches and bagels and an underwear store there. Sounds amazing!
To honor the French Canadiens, I’ve made some maple madeleines. It’s getting late here, so I’ll just link to the Martha Stewart recipe I used for these shits. It’s basically the vanilla madeleine recipe with the maple mods that are the link…..
OH! I do have one more thing to say about madeleines. It’s IMPORTANT! So you know how there’s a ridged side and a smooth side and sometimes the smooth side has a bubble popping out? OK – the bubble is meant to look like a pearl – it’s an intentional part of the original madeleine design. The ridgy side is meant to look like an oyster shell and the bubble is the pearl and is supposed to the side the faces up. Dominque Fucking Ansel says so! PS – I just learned that Dominique Ansel is a boy and now I feel like a complete dope! It’s a boy!!!