#111: BBQ Chip / Choco Sammies

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!

As I mentioned in the last bloggo – I’m getting ready to sell my dumb house and I need to get rid of so much kitchen shit and I’m just overall so stressed out and feeling more like a disaster of a human person than normal and so that’s why I thought it was a good idea to do a little baking last night.  I wish I was doing some marijuana “baking” because maybe that would reduce the stress by a million, but I don’t have any!

  1. I’m not one of those people that drug-doer types are like “oh yeah – I bet he’s a lot of fun stoned.  Let’s ask him if he wants to blaze up with us”.  I just don’t have that drug-doing vibe, y’all!
  2. The few times I was able to “score drugs” (i.e. marijuana and nothing ever more than that, I swear) – I would not be able to inhale correctly to make the drugs work.  I can never figure out how to light the pipe right, y’all!  It’s tricky, because you’re lighting from upside-down and you burn your fingers and it’s all just too complicated.
  3. There was JUST ONE TIME when I was in college that I think I got a marijuana situation to work for me.  Details are hazy, but I remember watching The Lion King with Greg Schmals and Kate Gibson and freaking out by the colors happening during the “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” song.  See for yourself – TOO MANY COLORS!  I ran across campus to the Kappa Sigma frat house and hid in the basement for about an hour.

Anyway – I’m not opposed to 420ing up again, but I just wish there was like a class I could take on proper bong use or maybe I could just get some spliffs….  Anyone have some spliffs???  Email me! Just don’t lace your spliffs with angel dust or black-tar heroin.  I really don’t think I could handle that….

Until I can get my hands on some DRUGS, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.  And this week it’s choco sandwich cookies with BBQ chips in them – killer treats for when you get the munchies, RIGHT?


1-1/4 stick of soft as shit butter

1 cup gran sugar

1/2 of 3/4 cup of cocoa powder (I use the Hershey Special Dark cocoa – NOTE: oh yes I did mean half of 3/4 cup.  I’m halving a recipe that uses 3/4 cup because who needs more than 20 cookies in a batch?  Not this guy! (me))

1 egg

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp espresso powder

1 cup flour

Plop small balls on to your cookie trays and bake these shits for about 12 min at 350. When they come out the oven, they will have little dome tops, which I fucking hate.  I like flat tops.  So, press the dome tops down with a spatula during the cooling process.

I made a choco buttercream filling, which is just a vanilla cream with cocoa powder mixed in.  And then BBQ chips – I like the Miss Vickie’s smokehouse BBQ chips best, but you can do whatever the fuck you want here. Use pretzels, use Fritos, use corn nuts.  WHATEVER.

And since the theme of this blog is POT, I suppose you could probably put some weed in these cookies and make little pot cookies.  I wouldn’t know about that because I’m too much of a square to even know where to get the drugs.  Call me if you have some and we’ll give pot cookies a go sometime in the future.  I hope I don’t get arrested for talking about drugs!  Don’t tell the police, please!  Thanks!

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