Hi hi hi hi hi hi!
Here are some answers to some FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS! (Honestly – no one has ever asked me these questions, but I’m being PROACTIVE! Maybe someone might ask me these questions in the future and then – I’ll be like “check out the FAQ page, bro!” I can’t wait for that day to come!)
1. What happens to all those cookies?
If they’re delicious, I will either eat them myself (burp!), take them to the office, or give them away. (January 2018 Update: I made a friend down the street from me and she’s so nice, so I’m going to start giving all of my cookies to her – hi Rachel!)
2. Can you mail me some cookies, pleasepleaseplease?
I sure could! Just send me your address, buster. Also – NOTE – only some of my bakes are mailable…. Some are too ridiculous to mail / too much frosting or fragile or something….. So, just email me and we’ll sort it out!!! (email@example.com) NOTE – I already have a list going and I’M WORKING ON IT!!!!
3. What’s your Instagram account?
4. I work for a magazine/TV show/book publisher…. Would you like to be featured in a thing that I’m doing???
Yes indeedy! Please drop me a hello at firstname.lastname@example.org.
5. Which of these cookies are the best?
6. Which ones are the worst?
7. Would you please make a cookie that looks like me?
Maybe! I did these for my friend Clare…. So, you get what you get….
8. Were you featured in chapter 98 of James Patterson’s hit paperback BEACH HOUSE?
Almost! That book is narrated by a guy named JACK, whose brother is murdered. The murder is being investigated by Detective Frank VOLPI, who is a real fartface. And then, in Chapter 98, someone named Pauline says this… “Jack, Volpi’s gone!” It’s not me who’s gone – she’s telling JACK that Detective VOLPI is gone…. Neat, huh? THE NEATEST!!!! THIS IS CHAPTER 98!!!