So Jimbo and I got back from Paris last week (with a side trip to Bruges, which was incredible). Not going to lie – there were some stressful bits in there. Figuring trains out is not my strong suit, team! Plus both Jimmy and I were sick at different times during the trip. Did we get on each other’s nerves? Mos def! (Was Mos Def there? Wouldn’t know it if I saw it!)*
Anyway! I learned some powerful lessons these past few weeks about being in love with a sometimes-shitbird. Lessons like “pretending to fall asleep when he’s mad at you”.
So I made these like reverse s’mores. With Nutella and these basic-b cut-out cookies. I’ve made homemade marshmallows a few times now and I’m always surprised by how dang easy they are to make. Messy, but easy – y’all!
To make your marshmallows – you will need a cooking thermometer. Just make sure you have one before you get started, trick, cuz it’s IMPORTANT! Here’s what else:
3 packets of unflavored gelatin
1/2 cuppa cold water + another 1/2 cuppa cold water (so like a full dang cuppa water, but you use the half-cups separately – OK????)
1-1/2 cuppa gran sugar
1 cuppa corn syrup
1/4 cuppa corn starch
1/4 cuppa powdered sugar
- Put the first 1/2 cuppa cold water and the gelatin in your mixer bowl and just set that shit aside for a bit
- In a saucepan, put the rest of the water and the gran sugar and the corn syrup. Medium heat that shit for like 3 minutes COVERED! Then, uncover that mess and keep heating for about 8 minutes. USE YOUR THERMOMETER HERE. You want this mess to get to 240 degrees. When it’s that hot, shut the heat off and move your junk to a not-hot burner.
- Start mixing the gelatin/water mix on slow. Then slowly add in the sugar/corn syrup/water mix and turn the dang speed up to HIGH! (Remember that movie SPEED with Keanu Reeves and Sandy Bullocks? WILDCAT!). I think this is the stage when you can also add in some flavors if that’s your jam. Like lavender or jalapeno or whatever the F you want! I like mine regular because I’m a slow-cooked meatball. But this is your jam now, biscuithead – you do you!
- Mix this shit for like 12 – 15 minutes on HIGH!!!! It’s gonna look like marshmallow fluff pretty dang quick! Weeeeeeeeee!
- In a little bowl, mix up the powdered sugar and the corn starch.
- Slightly grease up a 13 x 9 pan and then take some of your sugar/starch mix and coat that shit up. It’ll take like a spoonful of your mix – SAVE THE REST, PLAYER! You’ll need it.
- OK! Once your fluff is done mixing, take a greased up spatula and pour it out evenly in your pan. This is how you make marshmallows, OK???? Cover the top with a coating of the sugar/starch mix. This makes your mallows non-sticky.
- Ugh – this is the worst part – you need to set this shit aside uncovered for 4 HOURS to set up. FOUR HOURS!!!!!! Put on some Kimmy Schmidts to pass the time. I love the Mimi-heavy episodes. “Away gypsy! No babies for you here!”
- When your 4 hours are up, slice those shits up and coat the new sticky sides with the rest of your sugar/starch combo mix-up.
Like I said up above, you can make these into s’mores if it curls your hair to do so. I used Nutella, which I microwave a little bit to soften up. I plopped on some little cookies at the end. These letter cookies are so fun – you can call your boyfriend a shitbird and he’ll love it. And he’ll love you! Score 100 for Jack Volpi!
*this was a joke from Happy Endings. Ugh I wish that show was still on. Humph.