Failed Babka & Mega-Millions!

Hi team!!!!

I was having a chat last week with MOLLY YEH, who is a famous tv star now. She was talking about choco babka fries and I was like pimiento/meat swirl babka and then she was all “I invented pimiento babka and it’s in THE BOOK”. Oh and she even did a dang video about it….


But – she didn’t invent MEAT SWIRL!

NOTE: MEAT SWIRL is definitely not kosher, which is probably why she didn’t invent it. NOT KOSHER! Sorry, y’all!

Anyway, it’s her recipe with a layer of prosciutto on the bottom under the mayonnaise.

Follow the rest of Molly’s instructions for the rest…. BUT – this is important – you either need a jumbo baking tin or you need to trim up about 1/8 of the dough before using a standard tin because you will definitely have DOUGHVERLOAD.

This was an in-the-oven pic here….. I saw this and panicked. You’re supposed to leave this in the oven for 35 min and check for doneness. But I took my mess out at 25 minutes and it was RAW AS FUCK inside.

I’m gonna try again so watch this space for an update. But yo. It the cooked bits were SO INSANELY GOOD!

All of this is just a set up for what I REALLY wanna talk about.

Y’all. I bought my first Mega Millions ticket tonight and the jackpot is $522M.


and I’ve got a real good feeling that I’m gonna win this bitch! So here’s how I’m gonna spend it:

1. I am gonna buy this car! MSRP is like $150k. 😤

2. I’m gonna go to dang MOROCCO and then PARIS. And I’m gonna taking cooking classes in Paris and I’m just gonna drink all the wine and hang out. That’s like 5 months.

3. And then I’m gonna go to dang MEXICO and then ITALY! And maybe MYKONOS so I can stay at that hotel with the pool in the balcony. That’s maybe another 5 months.

4. and then! Im gonna go to dumb Los Angeles for a month so I can sell BEEF COVEN to television executives! REMEMBER BEEF COVEN??? Maybe this is two months. That’s a full year! Just a full year of traveling!

5. How much money do I have left over? Is there enough for me to open up a bakery that’s open just when I feel like it? And to get my dang mom a ranch house so she doesn’t have to TAKE THE STAIRS TO DO HER DANG LAUNDRY???? And then I wanna stay in the princess suite at Didneyworlds with my idiot friend CLARENCE. A FULL WEEK.

6. Jimmy gets $50 and a nice lunch. He doesn’t like Didneyworld.

Anyway. I feel pretty confident that I’m gonna win because I’m due for a big win in my life. If I don’t, it’s fine – I’m going to Didney with Clarence and Enid and Jugdish in October. It’s gonna be fresh.

This is Clarence throwing me through her window a few years ago. I LOVE YOU, CLARENCE.

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